Where I have been and Who I have become...

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to share my testimony at the CRU parents banquet.  It was quite scary.  I had never been on stage to tell my story about what the Lord had done in my life since the start of college.  I felt like it was something that needed to be done for the Lord.  He deserved to be acknowledged and he was.  I was overwhelmed by his great Love for me and was brought to tears.  I thought that I would share with you my story as well, so here it goes...


"Selfish, judgmental, fake, and empty are four words that would describe my freshmen year of college.  You see I started college that uptight, good Christian girl who never would ever fall into temptation. Well that closed-minded mentality quickly took over.  I gave in to Satan and soon I was living for myself. 

I lived for the parties each weekend.  Thursday through Saturday was the same alcohol induced affair.  Sundays were usually spent sleeping the day away; church never crossed my mind.  Convictions would come and go of the life I was leading, but the parties were way more fun.  I was having the best time of my life right…WRONG!  


As I continued to blow off the Lord, my spiral downward quickly reached rock bottom.  One night I had a wake up call.  All I remember was grinding my knees into my dorm parking lot because I was too drunk to stand on my own two feet.  I never remember getting in to my dorm or even falling asleep.  The next morning I was told of how I puked in my sleep and many people were worried of the state that I was in.  I could have died that night.  The Lord was trying to get my attention.  I had had enough.


I was empty.  I was often seeking the approval of guys to fill the void of the Lord.  I was judgmental.  I often thought because I didn’t do drugs or have sex then I wasn’t as bad as some people. I was selfish.  I didn’t care about anyone else, but myself.  I was fake.  I had completely disconnected myself from ones I had loved.
A change needed to happen.  


Summer came and the Lord took that time to really change my heart and work in me.  After recommitting my life to Christ I remember reading from 1 Peter 5:10.  It says “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”  This verse was such a breath of fresh air.  The Lord allowed for this to happen so that I would learn.  


Restored, confirmed, strengthened, and established are four words that describe my journey with Christ.  I became restored.  The Lord made me new.  I confessed my sins and was forgiven of them thanks to the blood shed on the cross.  I became confirmed.  The Lord welcomed me into his family, so that one day I will spend eternity in heaven with him.  I became strengthened by Christ.  I know anything is possible with him.  I became established.  The Lord is the foundation for my life and anything else will crumble.  


I was truly blessed with friends and family to help me build my relationship with Christ that summer.  They took the time to invest and encourage me in my walk. Being at home was easy, but going back to school petrified me.  I needed to take steps of faith to continue living for the Lord, but didn’t know how. 


Returning back to school I had to completely disconnect myself from friendships that I had before.  I was not blessed with a solid group of Christian friends.  I was all alone.  I had to completely depend on the Lord.  Many nights I would sit in my room crying and praying for the Lord to provide.


He slowly but surely did.  One of my best friends, Jordan, had invited me to join her CRU bible study.  I began to have fellowship with a group of believers at school.  Praise God.  Through that CRU bible study, being discipled, and weekly CRU meetings I began to make friendships that encouraged my walk with Christ.


   It didn’t just stop there.  The Lord opened up many opportunities in CRU.  I was joyful to celebrate a New Year at Encounter.  I rejoiced in the change that the Lord had made in my life.  I spent a month in Africa on a summer project where shared I the gospel to many Ghanaian students each day.  This was quite a humbling experience.  I had never shared my faith before and I would have never gone if I hadn’t trusted the Lord.


Being built up and encouraged in my walk, I wanted to share with everyone what Christ did for me.  Through my mistakes I wanted to make something good come from it.  I wanted to share my story and invest in other young women’s lives.  The Lord placed this deep desire on my heart.  I have had the opportunity to lead a freshmen bible study this past year.  It is so encouraging to see the Lord at work in them.   Through that experience I have seen that the Lord is all-powerful.  I could not lead those girls without the Holy Spirit working in me.


I praise God for Cru’s deep impact in my life.  I praise God for all the staff and leaders that invested in me so that I may invest in others.  I praise God most importantly for sending his Son to die on the cross for my sins, so that I may live. "
  
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.  Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.  The grace of our Lord was pour out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, and the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Timothy 1:12-17

He is Risen!

On this wonderful day, Christ rose from the dead so that I may live again.  His blood has washed away my sins.  I can not even begin to explain the joy that brings to my heart.  The wages of sin is death; therefore, we deserved death, but the Lord sent his Son to die on a cross.  I think so often we take this day for granted.  It should be a day that I reflect upon daily, but don't. 

I felt convicted in church as my pastor began to speak and I didn't begin to take notes.  Each week I usually take notes during the sermon, but this week something was different.  I think I felt like I knew it all or had heard the story my whole life. Pathetic!  Half way through the sermon I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to get out a pen and begin to write what he was about to teach me.

In my notes I wrote:

To live is Christ, BUT to die is gain.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can NEVER perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you"

  1 Peter 1:3-4

This great sacrifice is something to reflect upon daily.  I was challenged today to put my selfish pride aside and to let God teach me more.  

As I mentioned at the start of my blog, the Lord has placed a deep desire in my heart to pursue reaching out to girls.  This world has given girls a scewed perception as to how you should dress and present yourselves.  Sharing this desire with others around me, a friend of mine mentioned Pure Fashion to me.  She said it sounded a lot like what I wanted to do, so I checked out the website. (www.purefashion.com)  It is exactly where I see the Lord leading me.  I quickly emailed Pure Fashion to see if they offered an internship or if I could somehow get involved.  They responded back saying that they would be forwarding this message onto the National Director to discuss more with me.  I do not know where the Lord will lead this door, but I trust him.  I can not believe I just planned out my last year of college today, but I have a peace in knowing that God has a plan.   

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11