I can't wait to call him my husband...

I can't wait to call Derrick Brent Winkler my husband because...

Through the good times and hard times I know that he will have the strength to focus our relationship to the Lord.

 He doesn't want to risk his relationship with the Lord and our relationship so he gets rid of his facebook when some girl sends an inappropriate picture. 

He spends his time serving the Lord while waiting patiently for the Lord to provide a job.

He leaves me sweet notes on my car at work.

His heart still beats really fast when I lay my head on his chest.

He values his relationship with the Lord by starting his day in the Word.

He values me by leaving at night when we are both tired, so we won't have any regrets going into our relationship.

He comforts me when I am upset.

He forces me to communicate about things I don't want to talk about.

He misses me when I am gone.  

He is the Love of my life after God of course. 

He makes me laugh and he laughs at me.

1 John 4:19 "We LOVE because he First Loved Us."

Through mine and Derrick's engagement it has been difficult with temptation, but the Lord has consumed our thoughts and hearts.  Through Satan's schemes and trying to crush our relationship, we have begun to cling to the Lord within the past week.  It has been a beautiful time of growing and maturing.  I am so excited to see what the Lord will continue to teach us over the next 242 days of our engagement that will prepare us for marriage.  

Through this time we would like to ask for your prayers and support to prepare us for marriage.  

The Importance of the Gospel

Life has been pretty busy.  I work 20-25 hours a week, go to school 15 hours (plus tons of papers, test, and projects)...  I was getting caught up in neglecting the Word of God and neglecting glorifying the Lord at work and in my studies.  


It wasn't until Wednesday September 28 that I had a wake up call that I was NOT expecting.  My dad called on my way after fellowship groups and had told me that my cousin, Gavin, at the age of 30 had passed away earlier that day.  Upset and confused I began to process that this is life on Earth is not our home.  I was getting caught up in going through the motions of my everyday life.  I was selfish.  I was keeping the Lord to myself, but WHY?


WHY not share what the Lord has done for you and ME??  
"Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.  But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you."  Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.  Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet he shall live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.  Do you believe this?"  She said to him, "Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world."" John 11:21-27


Praise God that we could celebrate my cousin's life on Earth because he was a believer!  But I don't want to let any day pass by where the Lord is not proclaimed in my daily life.  Life with Christ is Eternal.  These days on Earth will pass away, but life with the Lord will last FOREVER.  


Last week for my fall break I spent a couple of days in Lawrence, Kansas for the funeral then spent the last few days in Dallas, Texas with my sister.  The break was very nice, but I found myself getting caught back up in living my life getting frustrated with Earthly things.  It wasn't til this morning reading Elisabeth Elliot's Devotional that I found myself once again reminded of the importance of the Gospel.  


Here was my slap in the face this morning:
Several Ways to Make Yourself Miserable
Author: Elisabeth Elliot


1. Count your troubles, name them one by one--at the breakfast table, if anybody will listen, or as soon as possible thereafter.
2. Worry every day about something. Don't let yourself get out of practice. It won't add a cubit to your stature but it might burn a few calories.
3. Pity yourself. If you do enough of this, nobody else will have to do it for you.
4. Devise clever but decent ways to serve God and mammon. After all, a man's gotta live.
5. Make it your business to find out what the Joneses are buying this year and where they're going. Try to do them at least one better even if you have to take out another loan to do it.
6. Stay away from absolutes. It's what's right for you that matters. Be your own person and don't allow yourself to get hung up on what others expect of you.
7. Make sure you get your rights. Never mind other people's. You have your life to live, they have theirs.
8. Don't fall into any compassion traps--the sort of situation where people can walk all over you. If you get too involved in other people's troubles, you may neglect your own.
9. Don't let Bible reading and prayer get in the way of what's really relevant--things like TV and newspapers. Invisible things are eternal. You want to stick with the visible ones--they're where it's at now.
  
Wake up call...I think so! Praise God.  


God sent his son to die on the cross for my sins and yours.  Today I ask myself...Am I going to live my life proclaiming the Gospel or Neglecting the Gospel?  

Joy.

Well I can't believe this, but I am a senior in college and I am ENGAGED!! I am engaged to my best friend and love of my life.  Praise God!  He is truly a blessing in my life.  So here's the story...

I had been a little skeptical all week because Derrick had been home the weekend before, not sure if he was getting the ring or not, but clearly he did.  So Thursday night he had said we were going on a date.  A date...YAY!  I was really excited because we were going to the restaurant where we went on our very first date, its called "You and Me".  So anyways I was praying all week that I would be content if it didn't happen, so I went into the date expecting nothing to happen.

So now this brings us to Thursday...

He picks me up at 6:30 and we get in the car. (Side note: I get in the car and check the back seat for any specific ShaneCo. boxes or bags-haha) He apologizes if he is acting weird because he SUPPOSEDLY had coffee which made him really jittery. (Lies)  So we get to You and Me for dinner and there is not one person eating there.  I had decided it wasn't going to happen tonight...too cliche' for engagement.  (Derrick hates being cliche')  So we had fun at dinner, just chatted about our day, reminisced about our first date and  it was a beautiful night.  After dinner we got in the car and we still had an hour or so before CRU and I wanted to go to this new ice cream shop in Bowling Green.  I was a little bummed because I really wanted to go, but instead we went to the walking bridge where we had gone after dinner on our first date.  As we are standing there looking at the water Derrick is rubbing my shoulders and asked me "So what were you thinking on our first date??"  I said," I mean I thought it was fun and I was nervous, I mean I don't really remember."  So then I asked him what he thought. And he says..."I was thinking this is cool, I haven't dated anyone in a while so this is really fun" He proceeds to say..."And then we dated a while And then we found a church together and I got to see your heart and how you love the Lord.  And I knew that you would love the Lord more than me.  And then I told you I loved you. And then we talked about engagement and marriage...And now that brings us to Now."  I turned around and kissed him.  He then is like "Ah! What's this poking me??" (At this point I knew)  He pulls out this little tissue paper and starts unwrapping the ring.  He then gets down on one knee and says, "Alyssa Smith, Will you marry me??"  I said, " Well YEAH!!"  So I kiss him and hug him and he's like "Well do you want to try this thing on??"  So as he is putting it on my finger I scream so loud...He was like "Oh no, is this the wrong finger??!!"  I was like NO...It's BEAUTIFUL!! I have never seen a ring like this.  Then after I calmed down a little he shared this passage with me. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up, But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

  

A Beautiful Exchange

This is my new favorite song. It is such a beautiful depiction of the gospel.

Should not be an Excuse

My head is about to explode of everything that the Lord just revealed to me through a friend. Let's just say the conversation was completely the Lord opening my eyes to see things I had never thought about.  As we all do, we all have pasts.  And we all sin and fall short of the glory of God, but it is by God's grace that we can have a new start.  It's not to say that through your time of being renewed and living your daily walk that you won't encounter hardships.  You will encounter struggles of those past memories that will be hard, but you have to deal with them.  You can't let Satan take ahold of those struggles, God is there to work through them with you.

   

For me...It has been alcohol.  I have never seen anything good come from it.  I have had family that abuses it and can be completely irresponsible when they are consuming it. I myself have abused it in the past, but have made the decision to not drink or be around those irresponsible situations.  I lost trust from many people who have abused it.  So for me whenever I hear the word alcohol, it causes me to feel a little uneasy and often lose trust in others when they are drinking casually.  

  

But... what my friend made clear to me was that this struggle is something that Satan uses against me.  He takes hold of that situation and causes my mind to wander.  I must not judge others, but care for them and trust them.  I say care because there might be someone that the Lord places in my life that will be going through the same thing that I went through and I need to love them, not judge them.  And I say trust because there will be people in my life who can  be around alcohol or have the occasional drink responsibly and I shouldn't judge them.  I don't need to make my past an excuse, but something that the Lord will help me work on when dealing with different circumstances.  I don't need to run and hide from it, but I need to deal with it head on.  And I don't need to hinder others and cause them to struggle what I struggle with.  

  

I praise God that I have him to help me along the way.  Many trials will come along, but taking it to the Lord should become my first instinct instead of my heart and feelings.  

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Set-Apart

"Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me." Luke 9:23

Wednesdays have been the highlight of my weeks this summer.  As you have heard me mention before, I have had the delight in leading a high school girls bible study this summer.  These are my girls and I love them so so much.  We read the book Set-Apart Femininity By: Leslie Ludy, but I didn't want this to become a book club.  The Lord really placed it on my heart to each week give glory to Him and make it all about the Gospel.  I was so encouraged last night as it was our last bible study to see how much God worked in these girl's lives.  The girls each wrote me a sweet note of how much God taught them this summer and one girl wrote  "I spend so much more time in the Word, I have a passion for God like I never had before and I understand so much more about the Bible and what God wants for my life..."  Praise God.  I do not tell you this to give credit to myself because I was just the vessel that God used to get through to these girls.  It is because God that these girls and myself grew closer to Him this summer. 

As young women seeking to glorify God we recognized that our focus needs to be on Jesus Christ everyday.  I got these rings for the girls so that they will have something to look at each day and remember who we are supposed to be living for.  Our lives as Christians are supposed to be like Christ.  He is the one that God sent to Die on the Cross for OUR sins and because of this we must follow him.  

These girls have brought so much joy to my life and I praise God for them to be a part of my life.  I pray that these girls cling to the cross daily and don't get caught up in what this world tells us.  It is about Jesus and no one else, the rest will fall into place.  

I love you- Mandi, Taylor, Elizabeth, Allison, Lauren, and Lianna

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

For Derrick.

"Time and distance quench a small love, but make a great love grow stronger."

Today I read this quote after reading a story about a couple.  Their story goes a little something like this...

Richard and Sabina Wurmbrand had the most romantic real-life love story I've ever heard of.  But ironically their marriage was nothing like the "white picket fence" scenario that most us dream about.  Their life together was marked by intense persecution, torture, imprisonment, poverty, and over ten years of separation from each other.  When Richard sat in the pastor's convention listening to the name of Christ being blasphemed, Sabina had a choice to make.  She could either cling to her desire to keep her husband by her side and her family protected, or she could make Jesus Christ her highest priority.  She chose to honor the name of Christ, even though it meant giving up everything in life that she held dear.

Richard was thrown in prison, and she spent ten years not knowing whether he was dead or alive.  Was the beauty of their love story dimmed by such dismal circumstances?  Just the opposite.  After years of praying and agonizing for her husband, Sabina received a note scrawled in Richard's unmistakable handwriting.  He was only allowed to write a few words, which would be censored by prison guards.  His words were : "Time and distance quench a small love, but make a great love grow stronger"

(From Set-Apart Femininity By: Leslie Ludy)

God placed me in Louisville for the summer.  He placed Derrick in Bowling Green.  He is using us in the same way and that is to serve him better.  I would much rather be closer to Derrick, but that was not the Lord's plan this summer.  The time apart has been difficult at times, but small frustrations are always a result of selfishness. I am sinful.  Derrick is sinful.  That is why we must cling to the cross daily.  After reading this today I realized that Christ should be my main focus all of the time, whether in a relationship or not in a relationship, Christ should be my life.  

As I grow in my love for Derrick day after day, it isn't because of his good looks, great sense of humor, or ability to fart 50 times in one day (these are all added Bonuses... haha) BUT it is his love for the Lord.  I know that Christ is way more important to Derrick than me and I praise God for that.  I praise God to be dating an amazing Godly man who is all about serving the Lord.  In this season while we are apart...I seek to grow more with the Lord as well.

"We Love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19       

This past week in my high school girls bible study we talked about building walls against Satan's attack.  Before preparing for study I had never taken a look at the book of Nehemiah...Ever! Nehemiah is in preparation to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem after the exile. In his despair he sits down and prays to the Lord.  His prayer is so beautiful...

"And I said, "O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments,  let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants, confessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even I and my father’s house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules that you commanded your servant Moses.  Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the peoples,  but if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them, though your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them to the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.'  They are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man."
    Now I was cupbearer to the king." 
Nehemiah 1:5-11

I read this prayer and think of how watered down my prayers are.  Last summer when I was in Africa, the Ghanaian's valued praying to the Lord.  They confessed everything before him and held nothing back.  They trusted and loved him completely.  I long to have prayers like this.   Through this scripture I am completely and utterly amazed at how the Lord continues to teach me things about myself.  

Inspired.

Give Me More.

Through the hustle and bustle of summer I have neglected my blog.  My summer has consisted of being a part time Mom and getting paid to do it.  Some days my job can be challenging through the two year old who wants more loving, more food, more to drink, more more more and I get so tired sometimes.  When I look at this sweet child I think about what God has been teaching me.  He has been teaching me to want more and has opened up my eyes and heart to it.


I think about the book I have been reading, Radical by David Platt, and I think about a story he told.  He told of Secret Churches that he would attend while he was in China (I think? Don't quote me).  At these churches people would come from all over and meet in these tiny hidden rooms just to learn more about the Bible and God.  They wanted more and more of him.  They didn't care how long it would take, if it was hours or days, they wanted to know more.  


I also think about the high school girls that I lead a bible study for and just to see the Lord at work in them.  We always run bible study to the very end of time.  I see their hearts burning for the Lord and they just want more.


And then I think about myself these past couple of weeks and how I have been putting my relationship with the Lord on the back burner.  I was stuck in a funk where I wasn't in a bible study so I didn't know where to read and then Saturday night I was checking out my churches blog and looky there...a Six Month Reading Plan of the New Testament.  Just what I was longing for.  More of the Lord.  (If you are looking to deeper your walk with the Lord by getting more into the Word you should really check this out Six Month Reading plan)


"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10 

Something Beautiful

Well Friday was the day that Derrick was coming home.  I spent all day just thinking about how excited I was to see him. I left Louisville in the afternoon to Bowling Green to just hang out til I headed to Nashville for dinner with a friend.  All day I had a weird feeling because I had checked the flight status in Nashville and never saw an 11p.m. flight arriving in Nashville from Miami, but thought it was an oversight.  Around 8:30 I received a text saying that they would not be arriving home til tomorrow at 9:45 and Derrick would call me.  I was like "Oh ok, in the morning, I will just go sleep and go pick him up in the morning."  Nope, it was the next night!  I was bummed.  I continued to have contact with a friend in Haiti who was giving me flight updates and I was just sick to my stomach.  I was worried.  I was not trusting the Lord.  Frustrated I drove all the way home to Louisville that night.  

Saturday morning I was still in confusion as to when he would actually arrive home.  I just kept worrying and tried praying.  I'm Selfish. It wasn't til 4 that evening I received a text from Derrick saying they had arrived in Miami! PRAISE GOD.  I decided that I would be driving back to Nashville to do it all over again, but I told him I would meet him in Bowling Green.  He didn't know I would surprise him.  I crept in a corner at the Nashville airport while I waited for him to walk through that gate.  That was the longest 4 minutes of my life. My heart was pounding and I was literally shaking.  And FINALLY there he was, I slipped out of the corner and into his arms.  After all the waiting, he was home and the Lord was beginning to teach me even more.  

In baggage claim he handed me the journal I had sent with him.  In there I saw his heart.  I saw words that overflowed onto more words that just presented the Lord at work in his life which breathed light into mine. In the journal he spoke of the things he did and encountered while there.  He had some verses that stood out to him while on the trip.  One that really stood out to me was Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Derrick actually got to preach on this verse in Haiti and I don't think we can ever hear that enough...to TRUST with ALL of our hearts and he will make our PATHS STRAIGHT.  

Through all the driving back and forth I played one CD that was my recent Christian mix.  I was just looking at the song titles and they are as follows ( in this exact order): 

Can Anybody Hear Me

Only You

Something Beautiful

The Lost Get Found

Hope Now

Forgiven

God Gave Me You

Our God 

While I'm Waiting

While I was waiting the Lord was the only one that I could rely on.  It was something beautiful to hear about how the Gospel was proclaimed in Haiti.  They have a joy and love for the Lord always.  I wish I could say the same.  I have hope now that I am forgiven of my sins and daily I will sin against the Lord, but he forgives.  God gave me Derrick to make my relationship with the Lord stronger not for to be my fulfillment, but so that we may walk on this Earth with a purpose.  Our God is amazing and wonderful.  

This was Derrick's bud Ka-Ka.  

God Provides.

The morning Derrick left for Haiti he said, "You won't even notice I'm gone. The time will fly bye." 

I didn't believe him, but here we are 2 days til he comes home.  The time has literally flown bye.  I thought that I would be sitting at home twiddling my thumbs wondering what the heck I was going to do with my life this summer, but the Lord knew.  

Let's just say that I am a professional babysitter.  I have baby-sat / nanny every single day since he has been gone.  Most of the time I don't even know that I am needed til the day of and its so neat.  Its neat because the Lord is bringing people into my life that I have never met before.  He has provided opportunities that open up more opportunities that open up more opportunities. 

It's very cool because it is teaching me to save my money.  I am not always guaranteed money and so it has really challenged me to be a "good steward of my funds".  I have always struggled with that and clearly the Lord had his plan as to how I would one day be forced to learn.  

Another neat thing that has been a really rewarding experience is getting to invest in the high school girls this summer.  They have a desire to know God deeper and to build their relationship with them.  Tonight we talked about the Gospel and what it means to share it with others around us.  Challenging them as well as myself has been wonderful to see the Lord use them to work in me.  The girls are learning what it means to be a Godly woman and how to be beautiful because of Christ in them.  

"Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

Here are a couple new pictures of Derrick.  I praise God for these pictures.  They have definitely gotten me through not seeing him or talking to him. He is loving the children.  

Encouraged.

 

I love summer because it means spending more time in the word, reading encouraging books, and sitting at Panera on a Saturday morning for 2-3 hours to chat with friends.

This morning I enjoyed breakfast with some friends at Panera which is always very encouraging.  We shared just how the Lord is working in our lives.  We also shared some fun stories and talked about girly things.  It is just very delightful to see the Lord at work. 

"For where two or more come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

For now it was the afternoon and I spent it digging into this book "Radical" by David Platt.  It is a great book that talks about taking back your faith from the American Dream.  It encouraged me even more to share my faith with anyone and everyone I come into contact with.  This quote is from the book. 

  

"The gospel does not prompt you to mere reflection; the gospel requires a response."

I am encouraged for my continued growth with the Lord this summer and the opportunities that he keeps providing. 

Derrick is still in Haiti.  Praying for him.  There was another picture on the website.  I am not sure what this means, but I can't wait to learn when he comes home!  6 days :)

God really is too good to me.  Tonight I was still in excitement about the picture I got to see of Derrick last night.  I was showing my dear friend Hannah the picture and there happened to be another picture...

Aww I know, right?!   That's what we said...Well actually we screamed it in her kitchen.  I think nothing makes a girl melt more is seeing a man with children.  Look at this sweet girl sleeping on Derrick's shoulder.  I love this.  She finds comfort and security in his arms.  Words can not express how beautiful it has been being apart from Derrick.  

As I mentioned before, just a few days before Derrick had left I was frustrated because I hadn't heard from him one night.  I was angry and did not reflect an attitude of a Godly woman.  I was thinking about myself and "Why doesn't Derrick think about me? and What can he do for me? and How can he better serve me?" ...And now that I can't talk to him, I pray.  I pray for him.  

The Lord is the only thing holding us close and I find comfort in that.  

One more week.  :) 

"May the God of peace equip you with everything good for doing His will, through Jesus Christ, 

to whom be glory for ever and ever." Hebrews 13:20-21

Derrick is alive!

Yesterday I prayed that the Lord would let me know that Derrick arrived in Haiti safely.  I decided to check out the Northwest Haiti Christian Mission website to see if anything was up there and indeed there was a blog saying everyone had arrived safely. I was also DELIGHTED to see a picture of my handsome man smiling and enjoying life, as usual.  Missing him, but so excited to see how the Lord is using him.  Please keep praying.  

And he's off...

I received my last phone call from Derrick at 6:30 this morning saying he was boarding the plane to Haiti and wanted to just say "I love you".  Where did time go?  Our weekend together was wonderful besides the fact I had a 101 temperature, of course I was sick.  Derrick was so comforting, but I felt terrible that I was sick. After church I was feeling a lot better, but we did some last minute shopping/packing and then I sent him off.  I didn't feel like he was going to Haiti, but none the less he is off and I am so so so excited for him.  A little jealous that I could not be going with him, but I sent him a journal and some letters so he wouldn't miss me too much.

I miss him already, but how can you get jealous and not be supportive of a man who is serving the Lord.  How can you really fight with that?  I know through these next couple of weeks it will encourage me to stand firm in the Lord and be in prayer for that is the only way of communication I will have with Derrick. Prayer.  I believe that prayer is what prepared my heart for Derrick leaving.  The Lord gave me such a peace in knowing that he will be fine and will get to come home.
"The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:8

Our Lord who is our rock and foundation, the center of our relationship, can get us through not physically seeing each other or even hearing each other's voices.  I have realized in Derrick and my relationship that the Lord uses us apart so that we can learn and grow.  We then can come together and collaborate.  It is such a beautiful thing.  I am oh so truly blessed.

Please pray for Derrick and the Christ Fellowship team while they are in Haiti.

 

Tonight was a great night at bible study.  The Lord has provided a great group of girls who want to grow with the Lord.  Being with the girls makes me miss high school because they have so much fun and love life.  Not that I don't love life, they are just so care free.  We had fun playing some games and getting to know them.  The girls really opened up and shared how they wanted to grow.  


I shared how I needed to stop being so selfish.  Lauren said, "You selfish? I just don't believe that."  Well believe it sweet Lauren, I am imperfect. Tonight proves just how selfish I am.  


I hadn't heard from Derrick all day and became very frustrated.  We had spent literally every waking moment together the past week and the least he could do was give me a call.  I finally reached a text around midnight from him apologizing that he hadn't called.  In that, I wanted him to know I was hurt.  I sent him frustrated and blunt texts with one word answers with periods behind them. (Texts are the worst way to resolve anything, you always say things you would never mean.)  Poor guy, I give him such a hard time.  He quickly gave me a phone call.   Then as we were talking he told me that he had Hot Rod tickets on Saturday night and I became upset because we weren't going to spend the whole time together while I was in town.  I am a brat.  I realized in that moment how selfish I have been lately.  


I never made it to see my sweet friend Addie off to summer project either.  I have been so caught up in myself and my feelings that I have not uplifted and encouraged the ones around me. 

 "Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself..." Romans 15:2-3 

I want to take the time to encourage some of the ones I love. 

Mom and Dad,  Thanks so much for saving me on the side of the interstate.  Thanks so much for dealing with me at the beginning of summer.  Please forgive me for not spending much time at home.  Thank you for being supportive and encouraging with whatever road the Lord leads me.  I praise God that I have parents that care about me so much.  I pray that this summer we can enjoy this time to spend together and to grow together in our relationships with the Lord.  Thank you for also dealing with me. 

Kathryn, Thank you for always being an honest big sis.  I love that our relationship has grown so much.  I praise God that I have a sister who shares the same love for the Lord.  I think it is so honorable to move to a big town as Dallas and seek the Lord's will.  Talk about trust.  You truly are a role model in my life.  

Derrick, I love you so much.  I am so blessed to have a Godly man leading our relationship.  I am so proud that you have graduated college.  This summer may not be easy at times being away from each other, but in that I want to be joyful.  I will be excited when we get to talk to each other and get to see each other.  I know he will provide those special times, no need to worry.  The Lord is going to teach us so much.  We have been blessed to spend so much time together.  Thank you so much for telling me when I "thinking" too much, so I can grown and learn.  Thank you so much for loving me well.  You honor and value me just like you do the Lord.  I find that so amazingly attractive.  You are a blessing in my life. 

Congrats to Jordan and Matt, who just got engaged.  I am very happy for you and Matt, I want to be nothing more than to supportive of you two.  I praise God for you in my life.  I do not know where I would be today if it was not for your encouragement.  I value and treasure our friendship so much.  Thank you so much for being the Godly woman that you are.  Your heart and passion for the Lord continues to allow for me to grow just from you.  

  

Addie, Wow how we have grown up.  Thank you for always encouraging me and being happy, no matter what.  I am so excited that you get to spend your summer in Sandusky, OH to grow in your relationship with the Lord.  I pray that you learn so much and make a great impact on the ones around you.  I know you will  because you are always bright and cheerful.  The Lord's joy in your heart exudes to others around you.  

Hannah, it has been encouraging to be in the same place together this summer. (Not having plans that is)  I know that the Lord will provide you with an internship.  The Lord has blessed me with you these past couple weeks to have fun and be spontaneous.  You love life and I love that about you.  Through our hectic schedules at school, the Lord has blessed us with this time to spend together and to enjoy rest.  Yet, it is 5 am and I am writing this.  You really have rubbed off on me :)

"But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

This summer is the first summer since high school that I have not had everyday planned out.  The family I normally nanny for were not going to need me as much this summer and that means I wouldn't be making as much money this summer.  My best friends are all busy with different things; most of them will be leaving me soon.  I tried to find nanny jobs in Bowling Green, Dallas, and even jobs in Ohio.  I wanted something that would be consistent, so I wouldn't have to worry about making money.  

At school I am so used to going from class to work to leading a bible study/ being in one each night of the week and now...I can't rest.  I feel weird, but the Lord just says "Do you trust me Alyssa?? Just rest and I will provide."  

The Lord will provide and has.  

This weekend Derrick is leaving for Haiti and I was planning on going to BG to help him pack.  Saturday the Lord provided a babysitting job in Bowling Green.  

Last night as I was going to sleep, I just prayed for more jobs to arise.  This morning I awoke to a text from a Mom needing a babysitter today in Anchorage (an area in Louisville) and I had spent the night at a friend's house who lives in Anchorage.  (P.S. The child is sick and sleeping on the couch near me. :) )

Praise the Lord.

I think in life we so quickly want to have everything planned to the tee, but that is just not how it always works out.  This summer is going to really teach me about trust.  I am not strong without Christ.  

I am also excited for this summer because I get the opportunity to be reunited with the high school girls from winter break.  I am so excited to get to invest in their lives.  I am between two books by Leslie Ludy.  I had originally wanted to do "Set-Apart Femininty", but Leslie just came out with a new book.  It is called "The Lost Art of True Beauty".  How perfect!  I think if the girls haven't gotten the other book then we will go with the new one.  The Lord has his plan.  

Below is what "The Lost Art of True Beauty" is about (everything opposite of what I am taught as a Fashion Major): 

"In today’s sex-obsessed society, pop-culture’s idea of feminine beauty seems to be all about looking like the hottest models, movie stars, or pop-singers.  But the end results are often tragic - overwhelming insecurity, eating disorders, and sexual promiscuity.  This book presents a whole different vision for feminine loveliness as god intended it to be - the breathtaking radiance of a young woman who has been transformed by Christ from the inside out.  This book offers lots of practical advice about how to:

*Showcase Christ’s beauty in the way you dress, act, and live 

*Overcome insecurity and see yourself as God sees you

*Become attractive to the right kind of guy 

*Build your femininity on God’s values instead of the world’s

I am very excited about this new book and hope that it will lead you on a life-changing journey to becoming a woman of feminine grace, inner radiance and timeless appeal!"

The Lord has his plan.  I just need to be content. 

 

P31derful

Not making the grade in my marketing class, not working as much as I had planned this summer, my car dying on my way home from BG was just not a great start to my summer.  The Lord said once again, Do you really trust me Alyssa?  I responded, Yes Lord but no.  


I was rushing home so that I could help with a fashion show.  This wasn't just any fashion show.  This was a P31 fashion show.  You may be asking yourself, What is P31?  P31 stands for Proverbs 31.  In my journey to seek the Lord's plan for my ministry with young girls, he brought me Kim Wiggington.  Kim started this Bible study for young girls and their mom's so that they can learn together what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  She just so happened to have graduated at WKU with the same major that I am studying. (God thing?...I think so.)  So I emailed Kim just asking her how she got started and what the Lord has done with her ministry.  She has so graciously allowed for me to come alongside her this summer and be involved in P31.  Praise the Lord. 


 So that brings us to last night.  It was the end of the 31 week bible study that was placed in different homes and it was time to celebrate. Each year there is a Mother/Daughter Tea evening where they come and rejoice in what the Lord had done in each of their groups.  I got to run the fashion show.  In the fashion show there were 3 scenes: a home scene where they show off their aprons they made, a fitness scene where they have jump ropes and jog on stage, and a Cinderella scene where they are escorted by their father's on stage.  After only rehearsing 3 hours the night before, the girls did great! 


 It was such a humbling experience to be a part of that night. Some of the girls shared their testimonies of how the Lord used P31 to work in them.  An 8 year old girl said, " I loved P31 because it taught me how to read the Bible and what the words meant."  Praise the Lord.  I can't say that I would have said that at the age of 8.  


It was so neat to see how many were impacted by P31.  Kim started P31 with her 3 daughters and it has continued to grow tremendously.  Just last year there were 20 girls who participated in the fashion show and this year there were 40.  There were many other girls who were not involved in the fashion show.  I was encouraged to think that the Lord could have a ministry for me.  I thank God for Kim and P31.  


The Lord has his plan for me being home this summer and I am delighted to see how he continues to open up doors.    

Whom am I seeking?

Blamelessness

Yesterday was my last Monday of classes for the semester.  I already had a checklist in my brain as to how much I had to get done and then I was given another project.  My plan to study ahead and to be prepared was put on the back burner. I became very frustrated and very overwhelmed.  In my attempt to accomplish my checklist in one day, I became disappointed.  I tried so hard to evaluate four garments, finish my screen print, and create a buying plan all in ONE DAY. I was in the Academic Complex from 9am - 4:30 pm.  My brain would not focus.  My screen print was not perfection.
I wondered why my day went so wrong.

I was trying to control it on my own. 
This morning in my devotional it talked about blamelessness.  It discussed Job and how he lived a life blameless.  He walked in consistency in every area of his life.  
We are not called to live a life of sinless perfection, but rather a lifestyle that is growing and conforming to His Word.  I can not handle this world on my own.  The Lord is the only way I can do anything.   
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:2-4

Where I have been and Who I have become...

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to share my testimony at the CRU parents banquet.  It was quite scary.  I had never been on stage to tell my story about what the Lord had done in my life since the start of college.  I felt like it was something that needed to be done for the Lord.  He deserved to be acknowledged and he was.  I was overwhelmed by his great Love for me and was brought to tears.  I thought that I would share with you my story as well, so here it goes...


"Selfish, judgmental, fake, and empty are four words that would describe my freshmen year of college.  You see I started college that uptight, good Christian girl who never would ever fall into temptation. Well that closed-minded mentality quickly took over.  I gave in to Satan and soon I was living for myself. 

I lived for the parties each weekend.  Thursday through Saturday was the same alcohol induced affair.  Sundays were usually spent sleeping the day away; church never crossed my mind.  Convictions would come and go of the life I was leading, but the parties were way more fun.  I was having the best time of my life right…WRONG!  


As I continued to blow off the Lord, my spiral downward quickly reached rock bottom.  One night I had a wake up call.  All I remember was grinding my knees into my dorm parking lot because I was too drunk to stand on my own two feet.  I never remember getting in to my dorm or even falling asleep.  The next morning I was told of how I puked in my sleep and many people were worried of the state that I was in.  I could have died that night.  The Lord was trying to get my attention.  I had had enough.


I was empty.  I was often seeking the approval of guys to fill the void of the Lord.  I was judgmental.  I often thought because I didn’t do drugs or have sex then I wasn’t as bad as some people. I was selfish.  I didn’t care about anyone else, but myself.  I was fake.  I had completely disconnected myself from ones I had loved.
A change needed to happen.  


Summer came and the Lord took that time to really change my heart and work in me.  After recommitting my life to Christ I remember reading from 1 Peter 5:10.  It says “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”  This verse was such a breath of fresh air.  The Lord allowed for this to happen so that I would learn.  


Restored, confirmed, strengthened, and established are four words that describe my journey with Christ.  I became restored.  The Lord made me new.  I confessed my sins and was forgiven of them thanks to the blood shed on the cross.  I became confirmed.  The Lord welcomed me into his family, so that one day I will spend eternity in heaven with him.  I became strengthened by Christ.  I know anything is possible with him.  I became established.  The Lord is the foundation for my life and anything else will crumble.  


I was truly blessed with friends and family to help me build my relationship with Christ that summer.  They took the time to invest and encourage me in my walk. Being at home was easy, but going back to school petrified me.  I needed to take steps of faith to continue living for the Lord, but didn’t know how. 


Returning back to school I had to completely disconnect myself from friendships that I had before.  I was not blessed with a solid group of Christian friends.  I was all alone.  I had to completely depend on the Lord.  Many nights I would sit in my room crying and praying for the Lord to provide.


He slowly but surely did.  One of my best friends, Jordan, had invited me to join her CRU bible study.  I began to have fellowship with a group of believers at school.  Praise God.  Through that CRU bible study, being discipled, and weekly CRU meetings I began to make friendships that encouraged my walk with Christ.


   It didn’t just stop there.  The Lord opened up many opportunities in CRU.  I was joyful to celebrate a New Year at Encounter.  I rejoiced in the change that the Lord had made in my life.  I spent a month in Africa on a summer project where shared I the gospel to many Ghanaian students each day.  This was quite a humbling experience.  I had never shared my faith before and I would have never gone if I hadn’t trusted the Lord.


Being built up and encouraged in my walk, I wanted to share with everyone what Christ did for me.  Through my mistakes I wanted to make something good come from it.  I wanted to share my story and invest in other young women’s lives.  The Lord placed this deep desire on my heart.  I have had the opportunity to lead a freshmen bible study this past year.  It is so encouraging to see the Lord at work in them.   Through that experience I have seen that the Lord is all-powerful.  I could not lead those girls without the Holy Spirit working in me.


I praise God for Cru’s deep impact in my life.  I praise God for all the staff and leaders that invested in me so that I may invest in others.  I praise God most importantly for sending his Son to die on the cross for my sins, so that I may live. "
  
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.  Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.  The grace of our Lord was pour out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, and the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Timothy 1:12-17