Where I have been and Who I have become...

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to share my testimony at the CRU parents banquet.  It was quite scary.  I had never been on stage to tell my story about what the Lord had done in my life since the start of college.  I felt like it was something that needed to be done for the Lord.  He deserved to be acknowledged and he was.  I was overwhelmed by his great Love for me and was brought to tears.  I thought that I would share with you my story as well, so here it goes...


"Selfish, judgmental, fake, and empty are four words that would describe my freshmen year of college.  You see I started college that uptight, good Christian girl who never would ever fall into temptation. Well that closed-minded mentality quickly took over.  I gave in to Satan and soon I was living for myself. 

I lived for the parties each weekend.  Thursday through Saturday was the same alcohol induced affair.  Sundays were usually spent sleeping the day away; church never crossed my mind.  Convictions would come and go of the life I was leading, but the parties were way more fun.  I was having the best time of my life right…WRONG!  


As I continued to blow off the Lord, my spiral downward quickly reached rock bottom.  One night I had a wake up call.  All I remember was grinding my knees into my dorm parking lot because I was too drunk to stand on my own two feet.  I never remember getting in to my dorm or even falling asleep.  The next morning I was told of how I puked in my sleep and many people were worried of the state that I was in.  I could have died that night.  The Lord was trying to get my attention.  I had had enough.


I was empty.  I was often seeking the approval of guys to fill the void of the Lord.  I was judgmental.  I often thought because I didn’t do drugs or have sex then I wasn’t as bad as some people. I was selfish.  I didn’t care about anyone else, but myself.  I was fake.  I had completely disconnected myself from ones I had loved.
A change needed to happen.  


Summer came and the Lord took that time to really change my heart and work in me.  After recommitting my life to Christ I remember reading from 1 Peter 5:10.  It says “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”  This verse was such a breath of fresh air.  The Lord allowed for this to happen so that I would learn.  


Restored, confirmed, strengthened, and established are four words that describe my journey with Christ.  I became restored.  The Lord made me new.  I confessed my sins and was forgiven of them thanks to the blood shed on the cross.  I became confirmed.  The Lord welcomed me into his family, so that one day I will spend eternity in heaven with him.  I became strengthened by Christ.  I know anything is possible with him.  I became established.  The Lord is the foundation for my life and anything else will crumble.  


I was truly blessed with friends and family to help me build my relationship with Christ that summer.  They took the time to invest and encourage me in my walk. Being at home was easy, but going back to school petrified me.  I needed to take steps of faith to continue living for the Lord, but didn’t know how. 


Returning back to school I had to completely disconnect myself from friendships that I had before.  I was not blessed with a solid group of Christian friends.  I was all alone.  I had to completely depend on the Lord.  Many nights I would sit in my room crying and praying for the Lord to provide.


He slowly but surely did.  One of my best friends, Jordan, had invited me to join her CRU bible study.  I began to have fellowship with a group of believers at school.  Praise God.  Through that CRU bible study, being discipled, and weekly CRU meetings I began to make friendships that encouraged my walk with Christ.


   It didn’t just stop there.  The Lord opened up many opportunities in CRU.  I was joyful to celebrate a New Year at Encounter.  I rejoiced in the change that the Lord had made in my life.  I spent a month in Africa on a summer project where shared I the gospel to many Ghanaian students each day.  This was quite a humbling experience.  I had never shared my faith before and I would have never gone if I hadn’t trusted the Lord.


Being built up and encouraged in my walk, I wanted to share with everyone what Christ did for me.  Through my mistakes I wanted to make something good come from it.  I wanted to share my story and invest in other young women’s lives.  The Lord placed this deep desire on my heart.  I have had the opportunity to lead a freshmen bible study this past year.  It is so encouraging to see the Lord at work in them.   Through that experience I have seen that the Lord is all-powerful.  I could not lead those girls without the Holy Spirit working in me.


I praise God for Cru’s deep impact in my life.  I praise God for all the staff and leaders that invested in me so that I may invest in others.  I praise God most importantly for sending his Son to die on the cross for my sins, so that I may live. "
  
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.  Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.  The grace of our Lord was pour out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, and the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Timothy 1:12-17

He is Risen!

On this wonderful day, Christ rose from the dead so that I may live again.  His blood has washed away my sins.  I can not even begin to explain the joy that brings to my heart.  The wages of sin is death; therefore, we deserved death, but the Lord sent his Son to die on a cross.  I think so often we take this day for granted.  It should be a day that I reflect upon daily, but don't. 

I felt convicted in church as my pastor began to speak and I didn't begin to take notes.  Each week I usually take notes during the sermon, but this week something was different.  I think I felt like I knew it all or had heard the story my whole life. Pathetic!  Half way through the sermon I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to get out a pen and begin to write what he was about to teach me.

In my notes I wrote:

To live is Christ, BUT to die is gain.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can NEVER perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you"

  1 Peter 1:3-4

This great sacrifice is something to reflect upon daily.  I was challenged today to put my selfish pride aside and to let God teach me more.  

As I mentioned at the start of my blog, the Lord has placed a deep desire in my heart to pursue reaching out to girls.  This world has given girls a scewed perception as to how you should dress and present yourselves.  Sharing this desire with others around me, a friend of mine mentioned Pure Fashion to me.  She said it sounded a lot like what I wanted to do, so I checked out the website. (www.purefashion.com)  It is exactly where I see the Lord leading me.  I quickly emailed Pure Fashion to see if they offered an internship or if I could somehow get involved.  They responded back saying that they would be forwarding this message onto the National Director to discuss more with me.  I do not know where the Lord will lead this door, but I trust him.  I can not believe I just planned out my last year of college today, but I have a peace in knowing that God has a plan.   

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Being sick is never fun.  The past three weeks I have dealt with a whole lot of snot.  After my first round of antibiotics I found myself getting a stuffy nose and a hacking cough.  I let this go on for about week until my ears starting hurting.  It had turned into an ear infection.  Sunday I went back to the doctor and they gave me some more medicine. I can already feel this beginning to work.  

I like to think of my sickness of what life would be without Christ in my life.  With all the snot and junk, I would not be able to clear it up without a Savior.  Just like my sickness I was trying to prescribe things to myself, but you just can't do it on your own.  

Through this I have grown so much closer to my Lord.   Even though its tough in life, the Lord is always there.  He allows the hard times to happen, but he is there to comfort us.  

"...but Christ is all and in all." Colossians 3:11

He is my life.  

Through this I have come to learn...

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...Be Thankful

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly...With Thankfulness

And to Do EVERYTHING in the name of the Lord Jesus...Giving Thanks."

Colossians 3:15-17

I could never clear up my daily snot without Christ.  

(Spiritually and Literally)

I'm Letting Go

Yesterday I woke to a beautiful spring morning and decided to go for a run.  With the sun shining, birds chirping, and the cool breeze I just couldn't resist but to embrace the beautiful day.  I laced up my tennis shoes and cranked up my ipod. 


 It wasn't too far down the course did I hear the words, 
" My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge


Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back


I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go


This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace


The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone"


I just love it when the Lord is constantly reminding me to trust him.  I was empowered by his spirit that it motivated me to run 2.5 miles.  I was overwhelmed by the love of the Lord to just be content.  


Once I got home I read Luke 9:57-62.  In this passage it speaks of the cost of following Christ.  The Lord was reminding me that the path to following Jesus is not comfortable or easy, but he is always there to guide me.  It tells the story of 3 men whom Jesus wanted to follow him.  The men constantly were telling the Lord to wait...  Jesus insists that following him must take first priority over every other relationship and obligation.  


Jesus said to him," No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."  I need to keep looking forward and let the Lord lead my life.  


I need to quit controlling...

Are you Ready?

Life has been going great.  Friday night I went to a concert in Nashville with some friends.  Saturday I woke up mid afternoon, went on a 6 mile walk with Derrick, and then watched the Sandlot with some friends.  Sunday went to church then spent the day with Derrick in Lawrenceburg at his grandparents.  Yesterday woke up, read my Bible, went to work, watched the WKU game, and then... Life didn't go as I had planned.  My whole weekend had gone great. It was filled with fun times with the people I love, but I forgot about the most important person in my life.  His name is Jesus.  Usually he is the center of my life, but for some reason I did not feel a need to include Him.

Last night nothing tragic happened, just little things...

After an hour of being "Nancy Negative", I got home only to realize how selfish I was and self reliant I had been.  On Sunday at church Jody spoke about Peter denying Jesus in Mark 14:66-72.  "I do not know this man of whom you speak of."  Last night I was convicted, I had denied the one whom I love the most.  

This morning I woke up and listened to a sermon that talked about being ready for the return of Jesus.  Recently in classes it has been the talk of the world ending soon and I never really let it penetrate that it really could.  We don't know when it will happen, but it could happen at any time.  We need to be ready.  

"Therefore,stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect." Matthew 24:42-44

I can not live ONE day slacking off.  Thank goodness for God's amazing grace and the power of the Holy Spirit to lead my life in truth.  

 " Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures. You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."

2 Peter 3:14-18

Breaks are always good for the Lord to bring my life back to focus.  

Spring Break.

"There is a time for everything, 
  and a season for every activity under heaven:
 a time to be born and a time to die, 
 a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
 a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
 a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
 a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
 a time to search and a time to give up, 
 a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
 a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 a time to love and a time to hate, 
 a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


Today starts my spring break.
I am so excited for this time.
I am not going anywhere special, but sometimes that is the best.  You can stay and rest and be content.  I will spend my time reading, working, hanging out with Derrick, enjoying the beautiful warm weather, and many other wonderful things.  I am thanking the Lord for this time.